The Perpetual Girlfriend

Saturday, 4 February 2017

I spent 10 years of my life going in and out of relationships. Hahaha what a way to start my first post for 2017. But before anyone judges me, I also want to say that I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I didn’t meet these interesting men whom I’ve had the pleasure of spending at least 2 to 4 years of my life with.

Love comes in different forms. To say one is greater than the other isn’t fair. But being human, I’ve compared and contrasted my relationships more than all the heavily filtered photos you see on Instagram combined. This habit has left me feeling ungrateful and unappreciative (when you want to hit your 150 word mark lol) of what I have in front of me.

Each person I’ve dated had something different to bring to the table. Not all of them were bad, but not all of them were good either. But for the sake of keeping this entry light, let’s focus on the good (sounds like some Ashtanga Vinyasa shit haha).

In no particular order, here is a list of things I’ve learned (the keyword here is "I", therefore, I don't expect all of you to agree with me) from being a perpetual girlfriend:

  • Have your own thing. This “thing” can be anything. From your cat to your passion. What ever it may be, always have something else going on for you besides your relationship. Not out of fear that he or she will leave you and then you’re left with nothing, but more so that you have something to share and talk about with your partner.
  • The desire for reciprocation is inevitable. Yes, unconditional love sounds lovely. But in all honesty, you want what you give/are willing to give. Which brings me to my next point.
  • You can't force your partner to reciprocate. Cus.. Umm, that doesn't feel good either. If it doesn't come naturally for the both of you, ciao cincau. 
  • DMC. Deep meaningful conversations. They keep relationships healthy. Almost like a supplement for the two souls involved (orrr you can shove an estrogen pill up his throat...).
  • Don’t be afraid to fight once in a while. I’m not telling you to pick a fight with your partner (although I may or may not have done that a couple of times just to spice my relationship up a little…). But when you manage to come to an understanding over a certain matter, you're indirectly learning more about each other thus growing your relationship.
  • Love yourself more than your relationship, but not to the point where you start taking your partner for granted. 
  • Don't lose sight of the moon while you are busy counting stars. Because it will hit you one day. As tempting as it may be, compose yourself and remember why you love who you love. Or get your best friends to smack you with a lamp. 
  • I was told I'm a retaliating goblin. Don't be one. Don't waste your time. It doesn't solve anything. If you need to get your message across, communicate. Not only will this strain your relationship, but it will bite you in the ass. So don't. Just don't.

Lah tu je? I really thought the list was going to be longer... Oh well, for as long as I'm breathing, I will continue to learn, make mistakes along the way, nag, complain and come to a realization that I don't know shit.

This is clearly not a beauty-related post but I do want to start writing about things that are happening or have happened to me on my blog.

Till my next post, my darlings!

cincau - grass jelly
lah tu je - that's it??

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